Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
