David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
