I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
