If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
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