so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
