I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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