Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
