Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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