Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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