Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
