Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Randomize
