Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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