Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
sex in a hospital.. check
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
