She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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