these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
