okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
