I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You can't special order awesome
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
