doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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