I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
