I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize