Cold hands, warm shart.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think I died a long time ago.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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