I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
