Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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