I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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