Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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