so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
