I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
she told me i tasted like america
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
