Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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