No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
