so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
