You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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