Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
