Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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