please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
