did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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