she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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