I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize