I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
