in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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