Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
