were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
