Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
