i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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