So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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