Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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