So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
