Can Purell be used as lube?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
