He is an equal opportunity slut.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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