Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
