Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
