I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
