Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
