Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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