Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize