Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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