bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
