Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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