it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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