Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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