i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
