If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
